You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
