Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
