This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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