Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
