Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
