Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i dont even know how to be here
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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