dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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