? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
