just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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