I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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