I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
