new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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