best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
