new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
