Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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