would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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