I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
