had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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