2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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