your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
