What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Found your dick twin last night
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
