i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
