HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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