You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
