He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
