Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
