I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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