Fuck appropriateness.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
