Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
