Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
