There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
