I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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