please come you make the beer taste better
Too much gin, very little bucket
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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