I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
