it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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