How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
