Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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