Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My cat gives me a boner
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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