im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
