my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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