Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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