Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
