I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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