She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
