after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
