Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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