Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
