I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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