I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
