i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
