you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
