i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
