There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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