I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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