Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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