Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
