I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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