addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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