hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
