just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
