last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Of course I have a pirate flag
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
