Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
