I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
