Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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