Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
