I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize