i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize