Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize