and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
