i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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